Lincoln Square Exposed in 140 Characters

A snarky new Twitter account is showing the lighter side of Lincoln Square, complete with photos of goofy signs and witty observations. 

The account, Lincoln Squared, was created in mid-January and has almost 40 followers. 

One of the first posts? A photo of a sign reading, “Nails, Teeth Brushing, Anal Glands.” Of course, the sign belonged to a pet grooming business, but the account’s caption simply read, “Good morning #LincolnSquare!” 

Patch sat down with the person behind the account for a Q&A; read on for more humor about the neighborhood. 

LS Patch: Why did you create the Twitter account? 

Lincoln Squared: I 100 percent love Lincoln Square and I spend a lot of time walking about and sometimes things stick out to me, things that are odd or funny or just need to be shared. I wanted to connect the community and bring people together. I wanted families to when they sat down for dinner at night to have something to talk about. 

LS Patch: “Follow us for cheap laughs.” Explain yourself.

Lincoln Squared: You need cheap laughs in this economy. Whether it’s funny or not, I’ll leave it up to you.

The anal glands post got some play… this was a pet grooming salon and I was just walking by and they had their sign and just said, “anal glands.” You don’t see that everyday first thing in the morning. 

The statue of the little girl over by the library that’s missing her thumb, it’s so odd. It’s something that everyone has seen and maybe not even thought about it, but where did her thumb go and why can’t we get her a new one? These are the kinds of things that I think about.

LS Patch: What’s the best thing you’ve seen in the neighborhood? 

Lincoln Squared: It was the Oktoberfest parade this past year and coming up Western Avenue, one of the floats was a giant, inflatable beer bottle. But it was coming to the Brown Line and the beer bottle was too tall and it couldn’t clear the bridge, so they had to stop the parade and deflate—I think it was a Hofbräu beer—they had to deflate the beer bottle, drive under the bridge and then re-inflate it on the other side. The crowd was going wild, you just don’t see things like that in other neighborhoods.  

LS Patch: If Lincoln Square could annex any part of the city, where would you want to expand?  

Lincoln Squared: Well I don’t know if it’s the coolest, but I think if we annexed Roscoe Village, I’m pretty certain we could set some sort of Guinness world record for having the most baby strollers in one neighborhood, so that’s my answer.  

LS Patch: What’s the neighborhood missing?

Lincoln Squared: I know what I really miss and I’m sure a lot of people do… I miss seeing Rod Blagojevich jogging. Something about his hair, the way that it would flop around, it was magnificent and you could see him coming a block away. The great thing though is that he would run in the middle of the street, waving to everybody. I miss him. 

LS Patch: Who is the average Lincoln Square resident?

Lincoln Squared: I like to say that there’s a Lincoln Square trifecta. They would have a musical instrument and/or a yoga mat. And then also, a kid in a stroller or baby Bjorn carrier. And then thirdly, a dog. 

Maybe what the neighborhood is missing is a good back therapy office or some sort of back specialist.

LS Patch: What’s your perfect day in Lincoln Square?

Lincoln Squared: I’d like to start out with a little exercise, maybe a Wiggleworms class (at Old Town School of Folk) and follow that with a little brunch. Perhaps Nu Lan Bakery if they’ve passed their health inspection. Then catch a movie at the Davis Theater. I thought it was pretty meta to watch 'Lincoln' in Lincoln Square on Lincoln Avenue, so that might blow my mind a little bit.

From there, put on the lederhosen, hit up the Brauhaus and call it a night. Maybe take a dip in the fountain at Giddings Plaza.

LS Patch: Describe Lincoln Square in three words. 

Lincoln Squared: Euro. More of a European-type feel. 

Beer-y? Maybe I’m trying to say drunk. But not drunk in a Wrigleyville kind of way, a more sophisticated, craft beer drunk.

Local-focal. It’s almost like we’re an island and we don’t want to leave and we don’t want the outside coming in. It’s not snobbery, people are pretty down-to-earth, because they just care about what’s happening.

Don't forget to follow @LincolnSquared and @LincolnSILPatch on Twitter!