Community Corner

Lincoln Square Couple Hopes to Inspire Others 'To Live Upfront'

The men, who are now engaged, have been together for 10 years. They plan to get married when same-sex marriage officially begins in Illinois.

Jeffrey Zacharias and Bradd Easton began their relationship in Dec. of 2003, taking things slowly and establishing a friendship first — which they credit as the reason that, 10 years later, the couple is as strong as ever. 

The couple, who is planning their wedding after Illinois became the 16th state to pass Marriage Equality legislation in November, first met online and spent weeks chatting before they finally met for a date.

“The day we were going to get together, my daughter [who was 7 at the time] had a sleepover. Zacharias said, ‘I’ve heard excuses, but that’s a stretch!’” Easton said, laughing. 

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Zacharias added that, while entering into a relationship with someone who has a child can be a challenge, he can’t imagine it any other way now. 

“It’s a challenge for sure,” Zacharias said. “This person is a part of the system. But now it’s not a challenge at all. I love her to death, it’s like she’s mine.”

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The couple owns A New Hope Recovery Center in Lincoln Park together, an alcohol and drug rehab treatment center that specializes in LGBTQUI-specific addiction treatment, through a program called “New Hope With Pride.” Zacharias also has his own private practice in Lincoln Squre. While working side-by-side every day hasn’t always been easy, the pair has found a way to make it work.

“We always do our best to separate stuff,” Zacharias explained. “We really want no work stuff after 6 p.m. A big part of this is figuring out what rules and boundaries look like.”

A Very Public Civil Union

The pair, who live in Lincoln Square, had a Civil Union on June 2 of 2011 — in a very public way.

“It was the first day you could do it,” Easton said. “We were one of 30 couples that were asked to do it in Grant Park.”

The couple had a small group of friends and family attend the ceremony — along with several hundred onlookers and a slew of press.

Several tables were set up around the park, and judges would perform quick ceremonies for each couple. 

“We were in the second round [to have our Civil Union performed],” Easton said. “There were five cameras going, one guy was under our table. But now we’re stock clips for gay marriage! We’re on WGN, CNN, Channel 7. … We were on the front page of the LA Times!" 

The duo said that even two years later, they regularly have friends and family tell them that they saw their ceremony being played as stock footage on news programs. 

“We knew that it was very public and there was potential for press, but we had no idea,” Zacharias said. “It was fast. … It was very surreal.”

The couple is planning on their upcoming wedding being a much smaller and more private affair. 

“We’re figuring out what [a wedding] would look like,” Zacharias said. “There’s not a lot of expectations on what it looks like to have a gay wedding. We want to do something with friends and family, nothing big. But we want to bring our family together.”

"I Can't Imagine My Life Without Him"

Both Easton and Zacharias grew up in conservative households, and neither expected to be able to get married in their lifetime.

“I grew up Southern Baptist,” Zacharias explained. “It was very hellfire and brimstone — not very welcoming of diversity at all. I knew I needed to be somewhere where I felt welcome.”

“It’s been very cool to watch my family, who is very traditional, come on board,” he added. “They love Easton to death. … To them, Brad is who he is and there’s no questions from my family.” 

Easton had a similar background — and his family has also embraced Zacharias as one of their own.

“I grew up in a very conservative home,” Easton said. “My mom was a Missouri Lutheran. She’s very welcoming now — she calls us both her boys!” 

Despite both living and working together, the two are still very much in love.

“I think we’re best friends,” Zacharias said. “We really are. We spend the majority of our time together. For me, he’s a friend before anything else. Now I can’t imagine my life without him.”

Easton especially loves Zacharias’s humor.

“I love that Zacharias can see all sides of things,” Easton said. “He’s not judgmental. And I like his ability to get me to laugh at myself or at his self.”

The couple agrees that they want to continue using their strong relationship to teach other people. 

“I think part of my calling is to take advantage of opportunities to show people that this is what it looks like to be gay, “ Zacharias said.

Easton said that’s why the couple had their civil union in such a public way.

“That’s why we had the civil union,” Easton said. “To show people that its all kinds of people.”

“Its part of our mission,” Zacharias said. “To live upfront and out and don’t live in a place of shame. It’s partly for people who come out behind us, to show them that you don’t have to live how we did.”

“It’s good for older people too,” Easton added. “It shows them that its not what it was like five years ago.” 

Are you or someone you know getting married in June when same-sex marriages begin in Illinois? Let us know at paula.skaggs@patch.com


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